WHY GENTLENESS AND KINDNESS MATTER -- Pastor David Tsai

Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance? (Romans 2:4:)

Gentleness and kindness are part of the character that God desires to build within us, and part of the fruit that the Holy Spirit bears in us when we abide in Him. Why are gentleness and kindness, though countercultural, worthwhile and important?

I want to share with you something that comes from training for caregivers of people with dementia. One important idea is that a caregiver should not be looking to correct wrong ideas in the dementia patient, but rather looking to help the patient feel loved. At the core of this practice are virtues of gentleness and kindness. It’s a simple idea and in some ways should be relatively easy to do. Yet this not always easy to do. The first impulse when people with dementia say something untrue or unreasonable is to quickly (and perhaps harshly) correct their mistake. 

We would do well to realize that this lesson should carry over into our many interactions at work, home, and church. Why does this matter? First, God calls us to put on these virtues like clothing (Col. 3:12). In doing so, we reflect God’s kingdom here on earth, and we glorify Christ by being like Him.

Secondly, kindness, a trait which manifests gentleness, can lead others to repentance. This is what Paul suggests in Rom. 2:4. “Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?” Ponder that! Paul tells us that it is not harshness, arrogance, clever memes, great intellectual knowledge or ability to argue that leads one to repentance. Instead, it is patient forbearing kindness that leads one to repentance, a central theme in the Christian faith. Do you want to see others come to repentance? Then be kind to them.

Consider the instructions Paul gives to Timothy on how to respond to his opponents: to practice kindness with everyone and to instruct gently (2 Tim. 2:24-26). His response must be characterized not by quarrelsomeness or harshness, but by kindness and gentleness. Paul points out, arguments aren’t going to bring somebody to repentance; the “hope” is that “God will grant them repentance.”

The gentle and kind approach is countercultural. At times, these virtues are lacking even in the church: when leaders are more concerned with exercising power than with practicing gentleness. Thankfully, I’ve also seen wonderful models of kindness and gentleness practiced by believers in their interactions within and outside of the church. These examples most often bear the fruit of repentance. So, let us put off harshness, and put on gentleness and kindness. It may help point others toward the kindness of Christ, and in doing so help lead them to repentance.

Holy Spirit, give us strength to show grace to others through the practice of kindness and gentleness, even to those who do not return that kindness.